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YFT : Shopping : Books : The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
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The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World by: Alan Downs  List Price: $14.95 Price: $14.71 You Save: $0.24 ( 2%)Prices subject to change. Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Dewey Decimal Number: 305 Format: Bargain Price Label: Da Capo Press Manufacturer: Da Capo Press Number Of Items: 1 Number Of Pages: 224 Publication Date: May 30, 2006 Publisher: Da Capo Press Studio: Da Capo Press Sales Rank: 935918 Related Items:
Editorial Review: Product Description: A gay psychologist demonstrates how to heal the trauma of being a gay man in an uncompromisingly straight world Whether he is flamboyantly fashionable with a body chiseled to perfection or chronically dissatisfied and without lasting relationships, the stereotypical extremes of male gay behavior are fueled by the same dark force: shame. The inevitable byproduct of growing up gay in a straight man's world, the experience of shame in childhood and adolescence sends a boy the message that he is other and that he is worthless. To avoid feeling shameful later in life-and even after he is no longer explicitly shamed by his sexuality-a gay man will quietly rage against the memory of this message and strive to excel dramatically to prove it wrong. The stereotypical manifestation of this inner battle is a gay man's success in the arts, fashion and in his body image; as with all the other forms of beauty, creativity and success, he is hiding behind the facades he creates. Building on the collected psychological research and the author's own experience of the past twenty years, The Velvet Rage will help gay men profoundly understand their dichotomous extremes. Explaining the psychological underpinnings of the forces at play in their lives, it also offers helpful strategies to stop the insidious cycle of avoidance and rage. Empowering and validating, The Velvet Rage will influence the public discourse on gay culture and positively change the lives of gay men who read it. Average Rating:
 Rating:  - A Life-Changing Book!This book was suggested to me by my therapist. I found the insights and experiences it shares cut right to the truth of my own life. The book's impact on me was so profound, I immediately bought copies for my closest friends. I've now given the book as a gift at least two-dozen times, and many of my friends have done the same with their friends - all of them feeling the same powerful response that I felt. Some of us have even re-read the book in "book club-style" discussion groups. When ... Read More Rating:  - Understanding Internalized HomophobiaThis book is an excellent exploration of internalized homophobia, and specifically targets white gay men. There are a number of consequences that come with being gay- not only external threats like the threat of violence, the reaction of one's family, being out in the world, and other considerations, but the way we perceive ourselves and our own sexuality. There are a number of harmful patterns that get played out in queer communities, but we often don't discuss them as being directly linked to oppression. ... Read More Rating: - Alan Downs did us all a favorI was drawn to the book in the first chapter, and could not put it down. For the most part I recieved confirmation of my own point of view, as I started feeling like an outsider at age 40. Gay men over forty seem to have abondoned the arts for the disco, and still want to date 20 year olds and party cycle continues. Alan downs, put in to words a simle evaluation of where we are today and where we could be if we grow up. Thanks. Rating:  - Some Truths, Mostly SuperficialIf you experienced the gay lifesyle as a skinny twink, enjoying the night life, drugs, alcohol and circut parties - this is for you. For the rest of us, it is very superficial and barely touches the reality or complexities of deep gay relationships. It also does not address bi lives or any real help to analyze heterosexual activity of men who may identify as gay or bi. In all, it's an interesting read but too superficial to make a real difference in building and maintaining a strong relationship. Rating: - Though apparently helpful to some, I find this book lacking; read it cautiously and with attentiveness to its flawsI read THE VELVET RAGE in response to the recommendation of a friend, many of whose sensibilities I share. While I don't consider THE VELVET RAGE to be a BAD book -- and while it evidently has been helpful to some men -- I find it deeply lacking. Based on my experience during 53 years of life on this planet, I believe that for anyone to lead the fullest life possible, taking into account ALL the factors at play is important. For many years, writers in the realm of LGBT issues have focused their ... Read More Browse for similar items by category:
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