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Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition |  | Author: Ph.D. Harville Hendrix Ph.D.
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Category: Book
List Price: $15.00
Buy Used: $4.97
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Seller: 1941books
Rating:  156 reviews
Sales Rank: 601
Media: Paperback
Edition: Revised and Updated
Pages: 320
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8
Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.3 x 1.2
ISBN: 0805087001
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.7
EAN: 9780805087000
ASIN: 0805087001
Publication Date: December 26, 2007
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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| Editorial Reviews:
Amazon.com Review
When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends." As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship." Divided into three sections, the book covers "The Unconscious Marriage," which details a marriage in which the remaining desires and behavior of childhood interfere with the current relationship; "The Conscious Marriage," which shows a marriage that fulfils those childhood needs in a positive manner; and a 10-week "course in relationship therapy, " which gives detailed exercises for you and your partner to follow in order to learn how to "replace confrontation and criticism ... with a healing process of mutual growth and support." The text is occasionally dry and technical; however, the information provided is valuable, the case studies are interesting, and the exercises are revealing and helpful. By utilizing his program, Hendrix hopes you too will be able to solve your marital difficulties without the expense of a therapist. --Jenny Brown
Product Description
REVISED AND WITH A NEW FOREWORD ARE YOU GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT? Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., in partnership with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., originated Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents. Together they have more than thirty years’ experience as educators and therapists and their work has been translated into more than 50 languages, with Imago practiced by two thousand therapists worldwide. Harville and Helen have six children and live in New York and New Mexico. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., has more than thirty years of experience as an educator, public lecturer, and therapist. His work has been translated into more than fifty languages and Imago Therapy is practiced in thirty countries. Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, are the co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy—a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents—which is practiced by two thousand therapists worldwide. They have six children and live in New Jersey and New Mexico. Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.
Getting the Love You Want is also available on CD as an unabridged audiobook. Please email academic@macmillan.com for more information. "Hendrix provides much insight into how spouses can mature through one another."—Booklist
"Harville Hendrix offers the best program I've seen for using the love/hate energy in marriage to help a couple heal one another and to become whole together."—T. George Harris, Editor-in-Chief, American Health
"I know of no better guide for couples who genuinely desire a maturing relationship."—M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled
"Getting the Love You Want is a remarkable book—the most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships."—Ann Roberts, former president, Rockefeller Family Fund
"Getting the Love You Want provides a road map for partners seeking a path to intimacy and passionate friendship."—Marion Solomon, Ph.D.
"This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. I have seen these principles in application and they work!"—James A. Hall, M.D.
Book Description
In Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix presents the relationship skills that have already helped hundreds of thousands of couples to replace confrontation and criticism with a healing process of mutual growth and support. This extraordinary practical guide describes the revolutionary technique of Imago Relationship Therapy, which combines a number of disciplines--including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, among others--to create a program to resolve conflict and renew communication and passion.
Getting the Love You Want describes the three stages of intimate relationships, provides illustrative case studies and gives helpful recommendations to overcome the obstacles in those stages to create a stronger bond between couples. First, he chronicles the stages of most relationships-attraction, romantic love and the power struggle-and suggests ways for partners to identify the conflicts associated with each of them. Then, he explores methods for achieving a "Conscious Marriage," where the early phases of romance are rekindled and confrontation is slowly replaced by growth and support. Finally, Dr. Hendrix incorporates these ideas into a unique therapeutic course, offering a series of proven exercises that lead to insight, resolution and revitalization. Step by step, he describes how to communicate with greater accuracy and sensitivity, how to let go of self-defeating behaviors, and how to focus energy on meeting each partners' needs.
With Getting the Love You Want couples in any stage of a relationship can resolve their conflicts and achieve mutual emotional satisfaction.
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| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 156
 Excellent! July 27, 2010
T. Schmitt
If you have any questions or difficulties at all with a relationship, I highly recommend "Getting the Love You Want". The insight it gave me into how relationships come to be & how they begin to seperate over time is invaluable - priceless! I would even recommend this book to people who aren't in a relationship so that they can possible understand what it takes to keep one working.
A must have guide for every couple who wants to strengthen their relationship July 21, 2010
Gina Pera (San Francisco Bay Area, United States)
Dr. Hendrix has set the gold standard for relationship books. I am thrilled to see this wonderful 20th Anniversary Edition. (Find another relationship book that has stood this test of time.)
And his Imago Therapy (which he co-developed) is the gold standard for couples therapy, especially when one partner is not especially empathic by nature.
It is the only couples therapy widely recognized as helpful for couples affected by Adult ADHD. Google "Imago Relationships Therapy" to learn more and perhaps find a trained clinician in your area.
Gina Pera, author
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?
Must have July 2, 2010
Wonder woman
This is the most well built book on relationship that I have read. Put all the most important concepts together in a way that is truly beneficial for people in bonded relationships. touches lightly on the repression mechanism and other neurotic coping mechanisms, but there are enough other works on that process. excellent book, thanks Helen and Harvy.
 Getting the love you want: a guide for couples June 13, 2010
Suzanne Andersen (SF Bay Area)
The book was easily readable. Much of the information is still current today and it helped me take a look at various issues in my life. I am not into doing exercies as the book suggested, but I could see that for someone they could be helpful.
Excellent May 8, 2010
Dr. Gunta M. Caldwell (Melbourne, Australia)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This is an excellent book that is thought provoking as well as a guide to true growth in a partnership. The first part of the book goes through many examples of how and why we are attracted to the people we end up being with and the second part guides you through a 12 week program that you can embark upon with your partner to heal your relationship. It is all about healing our childhood wounds and wanting our partner to heal them for us. Oh wouldn't that be good!! If both parties are willing, it has a lot to offer. But it is also good for the single person to reflect upon past painful relationships and why they may not have worked.
Dr Gunta Krumins-Caldwell author of On Silver Wings
Showing reviews 1-5 of 156
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